Poem of Quotes - Poetry, Quotations, and Relationships
Home > Funny Quotes > Late Show with David Letterman Quotes

Funny Quotes From The Late Show

The Late Show with David Letterman has been a favorite among many young and old adults since it first started airing. David Letterman's humor is a bit different than the other talk show hosts. When he first started, his humor was seen as dark. He constantly played practical jokes on others around his building and on his celebrity guests. With his age came a different style of humor, yet people still love him.

You'll find some funny quotes from The Late Show with David Letterman listed below.

Ladies and Gentleman let's play America's fastest growing sensation "Will It Float?"
David Letterman
People always ask me, Big Red, what's your secret to scoring with a different hot chick every single night of the week? You want to know how I land the really wild babes? I clean my dishes with Ajax.
Announcer
In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun.
David Letterman
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David Letterman
It was so cold in New York City today that the Statue of Liberty had her torch under her dress.
David Letterman
People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
David Letterman
Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.
David Letterman
There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to-minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.
David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman
More talk show quotes:
Colbert Report
Daily Show
Late Night
Tonight Show
More TV shows