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Funny Quotes From The Colbert Report

The Colbert Report quickly turned into a favorite among many young viewers the moment it first aired. Ever since, the Colbert Report has had great success as a comedy news show. His passion, grace, humor, and sarcasm have led him to be one of the most feared interviewers on network TV. His program remains as one of the most watched late night talk shows.

Below you'll find some of the most funny quotes from the show.

Director: Jim Hoskinson
Creators: Stephen Colbert, Ben Karlin, Jon Stewart, and Joe Antonetti
Original run: October 17, 2005 - Present


You know, I've been running this show, four nights a week, for... five nights now...
Stephen Colbert
I've swallowed 18 condoms full of truth and I'm headed across the border!
Stephen Colbert
Shave your head, get a wet sponge, and flip the switch, 'cause you're about to get a Truthocution!
Stephen Colbert
I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
Stephen Colbert
Stop asking for Bush's plan, senators! He clearly doesn't have one.
Stephen Colbert
Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. If so, I'm a freaking lunatic.
Stephen Colbert
I don't trust books; they're all fact, no heart.
Stephen Colbert
We invited Mother Teresa to respond to these charges.
Stone Phillips
You've really got balls on your mind tonight.
Fareed Zakaria
The 9/11 Commission says we are woefully unprepared for another terrorist attack, calling it inevitable. Well, it's inevitable now that we've told the terrorists about it!
Stephen Colbert
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