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Funny Quotes from Absolutely Fabulous - Page 2

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It's a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.
Saffy: You've been getting dressed for three hours and you still look like a bloated citrus fruit.
Edina: You are what you eat, remember?
Saffy: Which makes you a very large vegetarian tart.
[Discussing the Romanian babies]
Edina: I'll just be able to send them back, won't I sweetie? Hmm?
Patsy: Sell 'em on. Mark 'em up, sell 'em on!
Edina: I'm sorry, darling. It's just had some rather bad news today, that's all.
Patsy: I need a drink!
Edina: It's very bad news actually, Pats.
Patsy: Oh what?
Edina: I'm dying!
Patsy: You can't!
Edina: Well I am!
Patsy: Well what am I supposed to do if you die?
Edina: Get cabs!
Patsy: I should have sued. I was cut to ribbons, I was scarred for life!
Saffy: Extraordinary how it managed to hit you in exactly the same place behind each ear!
Bubble: She told me you had a tattoo on your unspeakables!
Edina: I didn't!
Patsy: Eddy?
Edina: I didn't. Unmentionables, I said.
Saffy: That could be anywhere on her!
Edina: This is my daughter, Saffy.
Jackie: Never mind, too late to flush her now.
Justin: I'm Saffy's father.
Jackie: How sweet of you to admit to a thing like that.
Edina: [To Saffy] Why does everything you wear look like it's bearing a grudge, darling?
Edina: I'm a fat person, that's the end of it! Me! The woman who got stuck on an eating loop in Yo! Sushi! I mean, honestly, sweetheart! If they keep it coming round of course I'm gonna eat it, aren't I!?
Saffy: Mum, you are just paying into the whole panic culture, I hate it. The world is actually safer than it's ever been. In fact, you're more likely to be hit by a bus!
Edina: Oh yeah, darling, that'd be ironic, wouldn't it? Closest I've ever been to public transport and it runs over me.
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