| Author |
Message |
bloodrage
Newbie
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joined: Sep 21, 05
posts: 2 |
| subject: A thank you letter |
posted: Sep 21, 05 12:53 pm  |
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So when you left me all alone
with my mom in this broken home
you didn't think about how i felt
you cared only of yourself not anyone else
my life is ruined thanks to you
i hope your happy i'm so confused
life is unfair it's like a bad dream
i'm holding my breath so i won't scream
i wish i had better news but that's my life
and thanks to you i'm not alright |
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thespasticone
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joined: Dec 12, 05
posts: 17 |
| subject: |
posted: Dec 12, 05 11:07 pm |
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| Wow, what a cutting verse, especially the title and how it is reflected in the writing.. I think that you could expand on this one, if you wanted to. You immediately involve the reader with your bold writing style, and you could easily hold their attention for two or three times as long... |
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darkfairy_1988
Regular User
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joined: Dec 13, 05
posts: 30 |
| subject: |
posted: Dec 15, 05 7:30 pm |
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| I like it..its eye catching..It hit a soft spot for me as well.. |
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