Poetry
Quotes
Knocked Up Quotes
He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.
Debbie
I'm going to murderball you!
Jonah
Fuck me in the beard.
Martin
Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
Pete
I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.
Pete
Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.
Ben Stone
Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?
Debbie
Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
Ben Stone
You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
Jason
Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your button falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.
Sadie, when asked where babies come from
Movie quotes
40 Year Old VirginCorpse Bride
Hoodwinked
Monty Python
School of Rock
Surf's Up
Wedding Crashers
